10 Ways to Make Visitation after Divorce Easier

 10 Ways to Make Visitation after Divorce Easier

Divorce, just like Child Custody after divorce is a tough experience that takes a toll on all family members, particularly the children. However, as parents, your main focus should be to collaborate and continue to parent together for the sake of your children. Your kids needs to feel comfortable about the new arrangements, and the more cooperative you are, the better the visits will be for everyone. Also, parenting as a team ensures that the divorce won’t have any negative, long lasting effects on your children.
If you’ve just been divorced and you’re finding it difficult to cope with visitation, here are some tips to help you navigate through this process.

1. Create a Positive Atmosphere

Your children need to feel cared for and comfortable during this transition. As parents, learn to connect with your kids on a personal level and celebrate their independent choices. Also, make sure that no parent is discussed in a negative way as kids are loyal to both parents, Kids should not feel conflicted when talking to one parent about the other parent.
By creating a positive environment, you reassure your kids that you still have their best interests at heart despite the circumstances.
2. Avoid Arguing in front of The Children

Arguing is uncomfortable to watch for everyone. Avoid arguing during visits. Remember that visitation is a time to focus on your children and as parents, it’s your duty to make this transition as smooth as possible. You can have a separate time to deal with your differences. Alternatively, you can have a session with a mediator to resolve any underlying issues.

3. Create a Visitation Calendar

Each home should have a calendar that outlines parenting time visits, weekday dinners, sleep overs, school events, and more. Set realistic expectations for time spent together. A calendar makes a confusing schedule easier to manage as well as predictable, especially if you have young children.4. Phone Calls and Phone Numbers
As a parent, make sure that your child has contact information of both parents, caregivers, and close family members. Let them know that it’s okay to stay in touch with the other parent. In addition, allow your kids to make calls to the other parent in case of an exciting sports day or in instances like saying goodnight.

5. Encourage Familiar Items

Children get attached to certain items at home. Allow them to bring these familiar items when visiting as this will make the process easier for them. These items could be a favorite book, blanket, or a stuffed animal.

6. Respect Their Preferences

Visitation can be tricky especially in instances where you prefer something and your child would rather do the opposite. If this happens, try to accommodate your child’s needs but don’t force your preferences on them. Learn to respect their individuality and ensure that they feel comfortable, cared for, and most importantly, valued.

7. Be Prompt

Being on time reassures your kids that you still value them and that you’re doing everything to make the process smooth. During this time, do away with all the distractions. Your main focus should be to make your children the priority. Take part in a game they’re playing or go out and have some quality time together.
Also, you could try and stick to the same routine your children had before you got divorced. For example, if you used to read them their favorite story after dinner, you should ensure this still happens during visitations.

8. Talk to Your Children about Their Feelings

Children may sometimes wish to talk about how they feel about the divorce. Encourage them to express their feelings in an honest way, even if they are negative. Letting your children voice their concerns around you will make them more comfortable.

9. Be Flexible With Your Schedule

Sometimes things happen that are beyond our abilities. If you happen to miss a visitation, ensure that the other parent is given a prior notice. Additionally, if you were supposed to pick the kids up, but something is going on, be flexible and instead change the visitation to another time that suits both parties.

10. Review the Arrangement and Make the Necessary Adjustments

Your child custody agreement should change as your kids grow. Sit down and assess how the arrangement is working for both of you and make the necessary changes if your children have now grown. You can start with small changes to ensure that everyone is comfortable.
Parenting after a divorce is never easy. However, going into it with an open mind and being in constant communication makes the process easier for both the parents and children. The above tips will help ensure that the transition is smooth.

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How to prepare yourself for a divorce case

“Until death do us part” is not always possible especially when it comes to unhappiness and conflict in a marriage. Sometimes the healthiest path is by way of separation and divorce. If you and your partner decide that there is no way of working things out in your marriage and the word divorce gets passed around, there are several things to consider before you dissolve your union.

Divorce Lawyer

Hire a good divorce lawyer


The very first thing you should do when divorce is imminent is consult a divorce lawyer. A professional can give you advice on how to file for divorce as well as help understand what you are legally allowed to do. You want to make sure you are covered for any eventuality and know your rights and repercussions of any step you take, especially if there are children involved. If you do have dependent children, hire a lawyer with experience in family law, as the legal issues around custody can get tricky. A good divorce lawyer will help you navigate the unfamiliar waters you now find yourself in and will guarantee that no misstep is taken that will cost you something down the line. The type of divorce you decide to proceed with is also an important detail that a good divorce lawyer can help with.


Tell your family


The very next step is to tell your immediate family, especially your children. Your life is about to get a lot more complicated, so take care of the hardest part first so you can focus your energy on getting the job done. There should never be any animosity between partners when dealing with the children as you will need to show stability and strength during the break up. Your kids’ welfare should be the most important thing to consider during this difficult time. Understand the family law around custody in your area before making any decisions on living arrangements or routines so you don’t promise your children anything you can’t follow through on. You also don’t want to make any plans that could hurt you in court should the battle heat up and go to litigation.


Make copies of all financial documents


You will need to take copies of all of the shared household files including bank statements, benefit statements, life insurance policies, any property titles for a car or boat, all tax returns and RRSP information. Make copies of all of it including anything that you have electronically on a home computer or tablet. Your divorce lawyer will need all of this to get a better understanding of where you are financially.


Make a list of all assets


It is important to have a good understanding of what assets the household owns and how liquid they are should you need to sell them and split the proceeds. Assets include cars, home, cottage or boat, but also any jewelry, furniture, electronics, computers, and any other property that was purchased during the marriage. You should try to find receipts that detail when the items were bought and for how much, as well as the potential value now to get an overall picture of the amounts you are dealing with for settling the property.


Make a list of all debts


It is very important to make a list of debt incurred during the marriage and how much debt was brought into the marriage by either partner. Debts that you or your spouse might have held before your union is considered “non-marital debt” and is the responsibility of whomever it belonged to. It might be a good idea to speak to your partner about debt repayment before beginning formal proceedings, as it can take up a lot of time and end up costing more in legal fees. If talks beforehand are unlikely, then make as clear a list as possible of what debts you have, when they were incurred and who incurred them, and repayment schedules.


Know what money is coming into the household

Money from Divorce

Find out what your spouse’s income is, especially if they own their own business. Any income tax returns should give you an indication of previous year’s income. You may want to keep track of all money coming in and going out through your bank statements for a few months so you can get an overall view. It is very important to have a clear understanding of shared finances while you are still married especially if there is inequity between salaries.

Whether your divorce is a simple dissolution of a union between two childless people with little property or an established family with dependents and property, you must always consult with a divorce lawyer before making any decisions. Laws around divorce and family law differ from state to state and a good attorney can give you advice on the next steps to take and advice on how to gather all of the necessary information you need to protect yourself.

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